Iwanna Stay With Merlin
by bluedragon03
Summary: Crackfic. Inspired by ICarly episode "Iwanna Stay with Spencer" so y'all already know what this is going to be but Imma tell you anyway. Merlin leaves town for a few days on a supply run for Gaius and he leaves Gwen with an alarmingly long care plan for Arthur.


"Oh, Gwen!" Merlin called across the training yard, ducking past Arthur and jogging to her side. "I've written up Arthur's care plan for you."

"Care plan?" Arthur repeated incredulously, "Merlin, I'm a grown man."

"Yeah, right," Merlin scoffed, turning back to Gwen.

"You'll only be gone a few days, I think I can handle him," Gwen said, amusement evident.

Like he hadn't heard her Merlin pulled a scroll from his pocket and it unfurled to an alarmingly long length.

"_All _of that?" Arthur called.

"See, Princess, I knew you were too prissy to be a knight," Gwaine laughed.

Gwen looked at Merlin with wide eyes, trying to conceal her threatening laughter.

"Here's a list of what he likes for breakfast, and all of his favorite soups and stews-"

"Aren't those the same things?"

"No there's a distinction. Then there's his sleep schedule, don't let him stay up past midnight or he'll be cranky in the morning, and if he eats less than two hours before bed he'll have nightmares."

Arthur spluttered in indignation as Gwen leaned in with much more interest now.

"He'll try to convince you that he'll get up on his own if you let him sleep in but don't believe him, he won't. I've written his schedule for the next four days out down here, and here's his speech for the feast five days from now so he can start memorizing it," unbeknownst to Merlin the knights started exchanging half awed and half-amused looks.

"I've already polished the buttons on his good jacket and mended his favorite shirts,"

"This really is a lot," Gwen said, more to herself than to Merlin.

"I'm starting to understand why Merlin's always so tired," Leon joked, "Arthur is a handful!"

"Also he'll complain about back pain all day if he doesn't sleep on the right pillow, I marked it with red thread for you, so make sure that's on the right side of the bed."

"I can't be _that_ picky!" Arthur protested, "you're making things up to make me look bad in front of Guinevere!"

"Oh, and am I making up that you have to have your milk warmed up or you'll get a bellyache?" Merlin snapped, tossing an irritated look over his shoulder at Arthur, who hushed at the raucous laughter from the other knights.

"How do you remember all this stuff, Merlin?" Elyan asked.

"I've been Arthur's servant for years, I know him better than he knows himself!"

"Let's see what other special care instructions Merlin's leaving for the baby sitter!" Gwaine began, making a grab for the scroll.

"Hey!" Merlin scolded, "I stayed up all knight writing this all down for Gwen so Arthur wouldn't be a nightmare while I was gone!"

"And I appreciate the effort," Gwen said, taking the scroll gingerly and inspecting it with much trepidation, "but really Merlin, he can't be _that _bad!"

"Suit yourself!" Merlin said, shrugging. "You'll see!"

* * *

One week later Merlin carried the bag laden down with Giaus's supplies through the door and was met with a warm smile and warmer hug by the court physician.

"Merlin, you're a day late, is everything alright?"

"Good, I got everything you needed I just had to wait an extra day because one of the suppliers was late, how was Arthur?" Gaius raised his eyebrows in a very recognizable expression.

"Gwen will be glad to have you back." Merlin sighed.

"I'll go check on him."

"Wait, you haven't had dinner!" Gaius called to the already closing door.

X x

Merlin stepped through the already open door with some trepidation, already picking up on the sound of arguing from Arthur's chambers.

"This would be so much easier if you just let me help you!" Gwen said, using her best rational voice.

"No! Just go get Gaius or somebody!"

"Gaius is busy preparing the remedy that Queen Annis requested, Arthur, he can't spare any time to help you _dress_, just let me!"

"No way! Go get a male servant! What's that useless idiot Merlin up too, he said he was going to be back before the feast!"

"I don't know where he is, he's obviously running late like you will be if you don't let me help you! I won't peek, I promise!"

"Um, need a hand?" Merlin asked, already grinning in amusement at the two.

"Merlin!" Gwen said, relief playing across her features. She crossed the room in three strides and pulling him in for a hug. "Thank goodness you're back," she muttered.

"Merlin?" Arthur's voice called from behind the screen.

"I'm here Arthur. Would you like me to help you dress?" He asked, grinning at Gwen.

"Yes! Get your lazy arse back here!" Merlin chuckled and ducked behind the screen, laughing again when he saw Arthur tangled and trapped in his own shirt. Merlin carefully untangled him and straightened the garment before slipping Arthur's overshirt on next.

"Thank goodness you're back, Merlin. What took you so long?" Arthur asked, looking peeved. Merlin sighed, shaking his head.

"What would you do without me?"

"Don't be an idiot, Merlin, I need to finish dressing for the feast."

"Of course, sire."


End file.
